The Tanookie Rises...from the Crabgrass?!?

Since returning from our trip and passing the boards, I find myself with A LOT more time on my hands. Much needed because I have started to clean up our house. Didn't realize just HOW MUCH the house was neglected between December and now! It also has allowed me to think about some random things...

1) Does anyone want to join me in a managed deer hunt? Damn these animals. With the help a famous Disney movie, they have may look innocent and helpless, but THEY are the ones that threaten MY home. When we first moved into our home, I was incredibly eager to start planting outside. I bought some pansies and planted them around our tree and borders. I swear to you, the VERY next morning (barely 15 hours had gone by!) every single one of them were ripped out from the ground and eaten! The bastards! AND NOW, as our third spring approaches, they have struck again! Last week before leaving for Costa Rica, I was thrilled when I saw that my tulips were sprouting. I was even more elated when I saw that some of them had even multiplied! When we returned, I noticed that not only were the tulip leaves missing, but that some of the bulbs were ripped clean out of the ground! AND, some tulips were neatly beheaded by those buck-toothed chompers. WTF?!?!

Last year's tulips...BEA-U-TI-FUL!

The same are of our lawn this year...damn, those deer.

2) Spent the later afternoon "thatching" our lawn. Never heard this word before until we owned a house and yard. Basically, you rake your lawn free of any dead grass and leaves. That allows the lawn to "breathe" (yet another term I had never used) and grow healthier grass. Scary thing is, I think our ENTIRE lawn needs to be thatched because I was ripping up entire clumps of grass and leaving behind pockets of dirt. Which leads me to #3...

3) Crab grass: friend or foe? "Foes" because they may look like grass, but are actually weeds. Spent the OTHER half of late afternoon ripping these things out of (or worse yet, what's left of) my tulip beds. They are easy to rip up and some, surprisingly infiltrate deep into the ground. I say "friend" because I have a sneaking suspicious that our ENTIRE yard is all crab grass. Therefore, they keep our yard green and prevent our yard from looking like an abandoned softball field.

4) Why can't clueless drivers accept their mistakes? I was on the 795 connector highway getting ready to merge onto I-695 South. Let me illustrate that there are 2 lanes merging into I-695 South. I was in the inner (left) lane and a few cars in front of me there was a big white car in the outer (right) lane. As these 2 lanes begin to separate from the 795 highway, the white car suddenly realizes that this is NOT the way he wants to go. It was obvious the he wanted to stay on 795. Let me remind you that he is in the outer right lane and now all I see are brake lights ahead.

This is where I have problems with drivers. Rather than submitting to the rules of the road, this white car SUDDENLY slows down, signals (HAHA), forces his way into our lane, and attempts to squeeze his way BACK onto 795.

Why is that people can't admit they are going the wrong way?!?! They have to quickly fix their problem by making sudden turns, thus putting other people at risk of collision. Why couldn't he have continued going the wrong way, take the first available exit, turn around (safely), and re-entered the highway in the direction he wanted?!?! I tell you why...because that is a selfish driver who does not think of anyone else, but himself and where he needs to be. He cannot be inconvienced by a wrong turn on a major highway. Instead, all he cares about it getting into the right lane and crossing a few solid lines.

I've seen this selfish phenomenon done several times. It pisses me off every single time...

5) Ever discriminate against the elderly? I was the grocery store approaching the check-out lines. I only have one item in my hand and could easily qualify for the "15 items or less" aisle. I stand in line behind an old lady with EXACTLY (no joke, 'cause I counted) 15 items in her cart and a handful of coupons. Rather than giving her the benefit of the doubt, I stealthfully move to the next check-out aisle. Why did I do this? Why? Because I assumed that this would be a painful check-out process to witness. I didn't have the patience to watch her skinny, arthritic fingers shuffle through her coupons or count out exactly $19.09.

You think I'm bad?!?!? What would YOU do if #4 AND #5 were added together? You see what I'm sayin'?!?!?!