Hajji Log: Part I

Saturday night, Has and I went to a "Hajji Welcome Back Party" at the ADAMS Center in Northern Virginia. We were reunited with fellow Hajji's that were in our same travel group. Although we have been back for nearly three weeks, seeing the other Hajji's brought back so many fond memories, unexplainable feelings, and a sense of comraderie. All we need is a smile or hug in order to recall what we have all experienced. Hajj 2006 will NEVER happen again with this same group of Hajjis. (Figuratively speaking since there will be another Hajj this upcoming December 2006!)

Anyways, there was a part of the program that gave us the opportunity to share what we have experienced. I wanted to share some of my experiences and feelings in front of the group, but I chickened out. Besides, there were too many people talking, large crowds getting dessert, and random children bouncing off the walls. After much thought (and without the presence of a live audience), here is what I would like to share:














1) I Had No Expectations For This Trip: Maybe it was because I really didn't know what to expect or the utter shock that I was going to Saudi Arabia for three weeks, but looking back, maybe it was a good thing not to have any expectations. Before the trip, I had heard a lot of good stories and bad experiences. I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment for the things that did or didn't happen. Whatever experience I was supposed to have was meant to be. We were blessed to have the positive experiences, but learned more from the negative ones. Does that make any sense? (See #4)

2) "A Sea of People": Zehra said it best as we were looking down onto the Kabbah, "Look at those people doing Tawaf, they look like they are floating in water. " So true, so true. After Fajr, we admired the view of the Kabbah from the top level of the Great Mosque. So peaceful to see people walking slowly around the Kabbah, but put yourself into that same crowd and you have another more "rowdy" experience. To find the "spirituality" of Tawaf amongst millions of people who are praying outloud in sweaty clothing, without deodorant for nearly 2 days, and pushing and shoving, just close your eyes. With the safety of Hassan behind me, I did it. When you do, it's just you, Allah, and the Kabbah. You put your trust in the surroundings to guide you in the right direction. You are walking in a current of people who are also seeking guidance from their surroundings. Despite all the chaos, there are infants who sleep soundly in the arms of their fathers unaware of what is going on around them.

3) Time Does Not Exist: It was an odd realization after our first week there. Most obvious was the weather. January for me was supposed to be winter, snow, and cold winds. During Hajj, January was warm, sunny, and without any rain! Except for Fridays (aka Jummah), I did not know the day of the week or the date. I pleasantly found that the day didn't revolve around my wrist watch, it revolved around the five daily prayers. In the streets of Medina, we could hear the Azaan from our hotel rooms, wake up and do wudu, and walk to the Prophet's Mosque (pbuh) three blocks away. After Fajr, the bazaars are open and shopping begins! Life in Medina and Mecca stops to a hault five times a day for every prayer.

4) My Personal "Positive" Hardships: I believe that each person who goes to Hajj has an encounter with a personal challenge that they have been avoiding all their life. It's not a harsh realization that hits you on the head, but it's that little voice that never speaks up for itself because you know how weak it is. But now you are at Hajj, 100% immersed in the spirituality, and seeking forgiveness for a lifetime of wrongdoings. They say if your Hajj is accepted, you are "reborn" and free of sin. They say you are given a second chance at improving yourself. In what ways will I? I'll start by listening to that little voice I've been ignoring...