Vacuums Suck

Bagless ones that is...like some inventions, it seemed like such a good idea at the time. A new concept, the new sleek modern look, and a cool collection of colors...it was so different than the traditional vacuum. The evolution of cleaning our floors have made our lives easier, but how much does the vacuum have to evolve before we see genetic mutations?

It was the worst decision I ever made...two years ago, I kicked my (parents) 15 year old vacuum to the curb on trash day and purchased a florescent yellow Hoover bagless vacuum. Ever since then, I have been wandering the aisles of Target and BedBath&Beyond for a simple, no frills vacuum cleaner to replace this new one. If they still sell the vacuum bags, then why the freak can't they sell a regular vacuum?!?! Every single vacuum at Target is bagless...each one bigger than other, each one promising something I don't want.

"Light weight"
"Extra Quiet"
"Hepa Filtration" for cleaner air
"Wind Tunnel sucking technology"
"Removable filter that's easy to clean"
"Telescoping self-duster"
...and 10 attachment tools that I'll NEVER use.



I have to admit, I was quite impressed to see that it picked up A LOT more dirt than what I was used to seeing. It was so strong that the carpet fiber-fuzzies were ripped right off the carpet and swirling around in the clear canister! The visual display of the amount of filth in our house was both appalling and disturbing. After that, I wanted my old vacuum back...bag and all.

Picking up dirt was the best thing these vacuums did. Getting RID of the dirt was the worst thing these vacuums ever did. It seemed easy enough...open the canister, remove it from the vacuum, and dump the dirt into the trashcan. Sounds simple, right? HAHA! Did the manufacturer neglect to tell the consumer about the ridiculous amount of "fallout" dust one must deal with?!?! To the point that consumers may have to take their vacuum and their trashcan OUTSIDE of their home to dump the dirt? Or that the consumer may have to hold their breath or wear a surgical mask when dumping the dust? Or that consumers with asthma should avoid vacuuming all together?!?!?

Why does the manufacturer insist that dumping the vacuumed dirt is better than the conventional vacuum bag? Does the consumer really need to visualize see how much dirt they have vacuumed up? Does it give them pleasure or inner peace to manually dump out the dirt and see the dust float up out of the trashcan?

Am I the only bagless vacuum owner with these problems?!?! Does anyone else feel like a frustrated chimpanze when they hit the filter against a hard object in order to "clean" it? I don't know how morticians deal with the cremated remains of their clients, but the amount and distribution of dust I must deal with is absolutely ridiculous.

I thought we had it good with the bags. I never saw it as a problem...when you thought the bag was full, you unzipped the back, removed the bag, and threw it in the trashcan without holding a single breath (literally).















The future of vacuums is here...Roombas have already invaded our homes. Why not have a robotic pet that cleans up after YOU instead of you cleaning after IT? I haven't invested in one and don't plan to. I'm afraid that dumping out the dirt with the Roomba will be least of my problems. Roombas are a (big) step away from A.I.

Dem contraptions will be da deth us all!

Bottom line: Out of sight, out of mind. If I don't have to see or touch my own filth, then I am a happy person.