The Big Two-Eight

Unbelievable. Today is my birthday for the 28th year in a row. The years seem to come and go faster every year and I cannot stop it! Usually on the week of my birthday I feel as if I'm on a holiday week...an extra serving of dessert, a splurge in the mall, an extra hour of sleep, etc. (And yes, it's 'My Little Pony')

This year, this "holiday week" has been an interesting one. I've been thinking about the past and a WHOLE lot about the future. It makes me anxious to think about where I've come from and where I'm headed.

Announcements to my 10 year high-school reunion (Go, Trojans!) have already begun to surface in the local papers. I always thought I'd be the first one to buy tickets to my reunion. However, the past has now caught up to me and now I'm hesistant to attend all together. To some, 10 years is not enough time to create and live a life. For others, 10 years is enough time to create a whole family! Seeing old classmates at the reunion will be like a slap in the face for me. My age will catch up to me when I see how much my classmates have changed. Some may be balding, others graying, some fatter, and others skinnier. I'm scared to see wrinkles in other people's faces or perhaps what a true "28 year-old" should look like.

Reliving the past. Has calls me crazy because I remember the strangest things about people, places, conversations, and events. But, those who know me best know that I LOVE to revisit memories about the 1980s. Way before "I Love the 80s" aired on VH1, I LOVED to revisit the cartoons, fads, and toys of the 80s. I'd spend hours in the dining hall at UMBC talking about "Silverhawks" or "Transformers" trying to see if anyone remembered just as much as I have. Since then, I haven't stopped since. With the advent of the internet and eBay, I have been able to read, see, and hear old television shows and toys.

I don't know why I do it. Maybe I'm one "energon cube" away from attending Star Trek conventions or perhaps I truly enjoyed this part of my life. Or maybe I'm afraid of forgetting about my childhood and have nothing left but my "adulthood" memories. Who wants only that?!?!? I feel that it keeps me young and the gears in my aging brain turning. Revisiting my past memories keep things fresh. Talking to others about the 80s helps me remember the things that I have forgotten. It's the little details like, "What was the name of Huey, Duey, and Luey's nanny in 'DuckTales'?" (Shout out, Kamran!) that cause a lightbulb to turn on in my head. If I forget about these details and never care to revisit them, then my memories as a child are gone-FOREVER.

So in reaction to this week, I have requested that the following DVDs be sent to my home via Netflix:

1) Labyrinth: I just finished this movie with David Bowie and a young Jennifer Conneley. I never thought David Bowie was indimidating as the "Goblin King" or even "Dance, Magic, Dance" attractive. I also forgot about those biting fairies!



2) Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer: I can't wait for this to come...what I remember most is her her cool rainbow belt and how she fed it star sprinkles!
3) Return to Oz: I remember a crazy Dorothy in an insane asylum and a headless witch who chose a "head" like it was a hat.


4) Legend: A young Tom Cruise in a magical land where fairy dust and pollen floated everywhere...at true asthmatic's nightmare.
5) The Care Bears Movie: "Care Bears Stare! Five, four, three, two, one!"
6) The Dark Crystal: Can't recall much...mouse-like people, Jim Henson puppet movie.
7) The Secret of N-I-H-M: Can't recall much either except a homely mouse is reluctant to go a quest.


8) The Last Unicorn: I actually bought this on VHS (remember those?!?!) when I was in college.
9) Transformers: The Movie: A true "classic" and Optimus will forever be alive in my heart.

To make things worse, I have also joined the "RetroJunk.com" crew where I can now rehash about everything 80s. I know, I know...I'm a freak, but now I can join others who share my obsession!.

As for the uncertain future, I am preparing for the nurse practitioner board exam in March. Will I pass? I have no idea. Once it happens, I can stop working as a nurse in the PICU and work as an NP "somewhere".

30 years is the beginning of the third decade of life. I am only 2 years away from this milestone. My mom assures me that this does not mean anything, but I have surpassed her age when she first became my mother. Just another thing I've been thinking about a little bit more everyday...

My Biggest Fear

I can honestly give credit to my brother, Mikey, for this one. A couple years ago we were chatting on AIM and I was home alone.

Mikey on AIM: "Hey, have you heard of a musician, Sajjad Ali?"
Tanookie78: "No"
Mikey: "Check out his website, it's pretty cool: www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/sajjad.php"
Tanookie78: "Ok...hold on a sec."

I copy and paste the website to a new browser. I'm really curious because where in the world did my brother hear of Sajjad Ali?

Anyways, I'm lead to this legitamate-looking (and decieving) website. The website instructs me to listen to a sample of Sajjad Ali's music while carefully reading the lyrics as they scroll up the screen. The music is Middle-Eastern in origin and sounds rather relaxing. I can barely hear it so I turn up the volume. I start to read the music and after a minute I felt like I was going to die...literally.

I suddenly see this hooded skeleton face. The face comes flying toward the computer screen accompanied by a high-pitched, banchee, blood-curdling scream. I also find myself screaming outloud at the website. NEVER had I been so TERRORFIED...I seriously thought that this hooded figure was going to come out of the computer screen and take my soul or kill me. The length, volume, and pitch of my scream illustrated that. I had my hands to my mouth and was frozen in fear (much like how the victims felt in "The Ring" when they saw the girl climbing out of the well!).

I was so scared that not only was I screaming, but found myself crying. I was crying for 2 reasons... for obvious fear AND how silly I felt that I actually fell for this sick joke.

I IM my brother back and curse for the first time on AIM. I am so angry at him that he sent me this site. How mean was he?!?!?! A second later, Hassan comes home and asks if I'm okay. Apparently, he hears my screaming from the hallway of our apartment building. I'm speechless.

The website he gave me is called a "Flash Prank". It has transformed me into a paranoid web user. I have high anxiety when people foward me emails or tell me to "go to this cool" website. Since then, I have fallen victim to 2 more flash pranks and it has not gotten any easier for me!!!!

Curious?!?!?
***Check out the Sajjad Hajj website: www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/sajjad.php
***Or if you want to be genuinely surprised, pick a website below. One of them is a regular website and the other is a prank site. Take your pick! (If some of them don't work, I apologize because I refuse to check them out myself!)
CHOICE 1: users.cjb.net/ppworks/barney.html
CHOICE 2: www.funny-spot.com/html/Whats-wrong-with-this-Picture.html
CHOICE 3: sugarqube.com/Ecards/CardView.cfm?CardID=1228
***GO TO THIS COOL WEBSITE about "Flash Pranks". Seriously, it discusses the various flash pranks out there and gives a synopsis of what to expect when you visit these sites. Kind of like a spoiler. I'm curious to visit these sites, but NEVER will I go there voluntarily. They freak me out too much: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prank_flash

And remember...you've been warned!

Hajji Log: Part I

Saturday night, Has and I went to a "Hajji Welcome Back Party" at the ADAMS Center in Northern Virginia. We were reunited with fellow Hajji's that were in our same travel group. Although we have been back for nearly three weeks, seeing the other Hajji's brought back so many fond memories, unexplainable feelings, and a sense of comraderie. All we need is a smile or hug in order to recall what we have all experienced. Hajj 2006 will NEVER happen again with this same group of Hajjis. (Figuratively speaking since there will be another Hajj this upcoming December 2006!)

Anyways, there was a part of the program that gave us the opportunity to share what we have experienced. I wanted to share some of my experiences and feelings in front of the group, but I chickened out. Besides, there were too many people talking, large crowds getting dessert, and random children bouncing off the walls. After much thought (and without the presence of a live audience), here is what I would like to share:














1) I Had No Expectations For This Trip: Maybe it was because I really didn't know what to expect or the utter shock that I was going to Saudi Arabia for three weeks, but looking back, maybe it was a good thing not to have any expectations. Before the trip, I had heard a lot of good stories and bad experiences. I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment for the things that did or didn't happen. Whatever experience I was supposed to have was meant to be. We were blessed to have the positive experiences, but learned more from the negative ones. Does that make any sense? (See #4)

2) "A Sea of People": Zehra said it best as we were looking down onto the Kabbah, "Look at those people doing Tawaf, they look like they are floating in water. " So true, so true. After Fajr, we admired the view of the Kabbah from the top level of the Great Mosque. So peaceful to see people walking slowly around the Kabbah, but put yourself into that same crowd and you have another more "rowdy" experience. To find the "spirituality" of Tawaf amongst millions of people who are praying outloud in sweaty clothing, without deodorant for nearly 2 days, and pushing and shoving, just close your eyes. With the safety of Hassan behind me, I did it. When you do, it's just you, Allah, and the Kabbah. You put your trust in the surroundings to guide you in the right direction. You are walking in a current of people who are also seeking guidance from their surroundings. Despite all the chaos, there are infants who sleep soundly in the arms of their fathers unaware of what is going on around them.

3) Time Does Not Exist: It was an odd realization after our first week there. Most obvious was the weather. January for me was supposed to be winter, snow, and cold winds. During Hajj, January was warm, sunny, and without any rain! Except for Fridays (aka Jummah), I did not know the day of the week or the date. I pleasantly found that the day didn't revolve around my wrist watch, it revolved around the five daily prayers. In the streets of Medina, we could hear the Azaan from our hotel rooms, wake up and do wudu, and walk to the Prophet's Mosque (pbuh) three blocks away. After Fajr, the bazaars are open and shopping begins! Life in Medina and Mecca stops to a hault five times a day for every prayer.

4) My Personal "Positive" Hardships: I believe that each person who goes to Hajj has an encounter with a personal challenge that they have been avoiding all their life. It's not a harsh realization that hits you on the head, but it's that little voice that never speaks up for itself because you know how weak it is. But now you are at Hajj, 100% immersed in the spirituality, and seeking forgiveness for a lifetime of wrongdoings. They say if your Hajj is accepted, you are "reborn" and free of sin. They say you are given a second chance at improving yourself. In what ways will I? I'll start by listening to that little voice I've been ignoring...

The Tazmanian Devil

You should know the following nicknames for Murry: "Shrimp", "Mo-Mo", "Little Mow-Wow", "The Red Devil", and NOW "The Tazmanian Devil"

I kid you not, this laid-back, cute, innocent kitty, just over a year old has proved himself to be a monster. I think back just a week ago and STILL cannot believe that this is the same cat cuddling in my neck every morning!

Last week, Murry was due for his annual check-up and rabies vaccination. We were going to a new vet's office because Light Street Animal Hospital was too far since it was a 30 minute drive INTO Baltimore City! So I chose a vet that specializes in cats...a cat "specialty" hospital...aww, how cute!

Anyways, Murry was so excited to go! He jumped right into his cat carrier and I shut the door without any problems. Strapped him into the front seat of my car and off we went.
"Meow...meow...meooooow!" he whimpered (can cat's wimper?!?!) SO affectionately. SO cute that I had to call Hassan at work and let him hear Murry over the phone!

We get to the vet's office and I walk in to check him in. The office was SO darling! Cat paraphanelia EVERYWHERE! It was like a little old lady with a 100 cats in her house lived here. Cat pencil holders, cat magazines, cat doormats, cat posters, curtains with cat designs on them, embroidered cat pillows! So scary, but yet so cozy! Even the veterinarian was really cute...she was a short husky older woman with her hair pulled into a bun. She even had her glasses hanging around her neck.

After completing Murry's registration forms, the vet tech picked up Murry's carrier and placed it on top of the exam table. I followed them in and the door shut behind me. (This is when all the fun starts.) We start talking about Murry's brief history: his 2 missing toes on his right back paw, the brand of cat food, how I transitioned him to the "adult" formula, etc.

Then, in utter surprise, I hear Murry start to cough. "Oh, poor baby!" I think to myself, "I hope he doesn't choke!" Little did I know that this cough turned into a glutteral growl. "Hmm...that's interesting. I've NEVER heard that sound come from him before!" I think to myself.

"Looks like we'll need the gloves, " says the vet tech.
"Huh?" I say in surprise. He was just growling.
"He looks like a biter!" she says as she notices my confusion. She pulls out these HUGE (and tattered) orange oven-mitts and puts them on. She attempts to open the carrier's door and Murry refuses to come out. Then her and the vet begin to unsnap the top of his carrier in order to expose Murry to the outside world. Murry is revealed, but he physically looks different. He is laying on his side with his claws out (all 18 of them), his pupils are about the size of plates, and his fur is all puffy. He looks twice as big!

"Let's get a weight on him, " the vet says. They attempt to grab him and he fights the oven mitts. All I can recall are loud high pitched howls followed by extreme volumes of hissing. I'm distracted because all I see in Murry are his FANGS! I can see the ridges on the roof of his mouth because his mouth is opened SO wide!

Them Murry jumps off the table and under the chair. Rather than poking our unprotected hands at him, the vet picks up the chair and throws it to the otherside of the room. Under the chair is a vile monster made of scary fangs. He hisses as if we threw holy water on him. Instead, we smother him a towel and the hissing is muffled. We throw him onto the scale and get an "estimated" weight of 10 pounds. 10 pounds of pure evil!

They struggle to hold him down and expose his underside for a "quick" exam. She listens to his heart and lungs (behind all the glutteral howling and screaming). He is kicking and scratching his way through the towel. At this point, there are tufts of hair flying all over the exam room.

I make a sad attempt to calm down Murry. "Murry! Murry!" I yell and make kissy noises to grab his attention. ("F-that!" I imagine Murry saying.)

My last attempt is, "Murry, you wanna TREAT?!?! A TREAT?!?!?!" and I shake the plastic container holding his treats. It usually gets him out of his hiding place when I can't find him. (As I look back, I laugh because I remember myself dancing around that exam room like a court-jester with a plastic rattle. I must have looked pretty silly and desparate!)

All I get back from Murry is "HISS and CURSE YOU ALL!"

I am in a COMPLETE state of disbelief and utter shock. I have NEVER seen him behave like this before! He was SO cute and curious with his last vet visit last year. It looked like he wasn't even housebroken. It was as if I had captured a wild cougar cub from the jungle and threw him into the exam room. I felt SO embarrassed and helpless.

The vet and vet tech held him down for his vaccinations. Murry's butt was the only thing exposed from under the towel. The vet held the syringes of vaccine in her mouth as she uncapped them with her teeth. She quickly gave him the shot and threw the used needles into the sink behind her. Obviously, she has done this manuever before.

"Oh, yeah...this isn't bad. I have to SEDATE my kitties before I bring them in here, " she reassuringly says through her teeth. I contemplate sedating Murry with his next visit. Drug of choice: Benadryl? Robitussin? Ketamine?

THEN came the cream-of-the-crop. While holding him down, I suddenly see a stream of fluid squirt across the room.

"What's that?!?!" I yell out loud. "My God, did they squeeze him to death?"

"He's urinating, " replies the vet. I gasp in shock.

"Oh, here come number 2!" says the vet tech. "Wha?!?!" I barely have time to process NUMBER ONE! I suddenly see that Murry has now decided to defecate on the exam table. At this point, I am at the brink of insanity and embarrassment. Not only has my beloved kitty turned into a complete monster, but he is attempting to use his bodily secretions as biological weapons against us.

Speechless and with my nurse-instincts, I grab some Kleenex and hand it to the vet.

The vet replies, "I guess we have a fresh sample now!" referring to testing his stool for worms. The torture is FINALLY over. The towel is lifted and Murry retreats into his carrier. I relax, but find myself holding another towel like a matador for protection against a bull.

Adrenaline is coarsing through my blood. I barely understand what the vet says to me. At this point, all I want to do is just pay the bill and go home. (I'm sure Murry would completely agree at this point.) I don't even question the $90 bill...after all the muscle power and trouble, they deserve it!

The drive home was very quiet for both of us. There were NO cute meows eminating from the carrier.

"Did they freaking kill him?!?!" I say outloud as I peek into this carrier. He's sitting down facing the BACK of the car. Backwards just like the demon-possessed girl's head in "The Exorcist".

I kept replaying the whole incident in the exam room. The hissing! The howling! Those fangs! Tufts of floating fur! The poop on the exam table! I laugh in disbelief.

We arrive at home and I set the carrier to the ground. I open the carrier door and step back expecting either a very traumatized cat or a deliriously insane devil to spin out of the cage. Instead, "MY" little Murry steps delicately onto the hardwood floor (shout-out to Has!) and sits down.

I run upstairs to call Hassan about the whole incident. I sit on the bed to dial the phone and Murry jumps onto the bed. He walks onto my lap and rubs his head under my free hand urging me to pet him. It's "Lover-Cat" (Ha! I knew there was another nickname I was forgetting!!). I guess he's forgiven me or he's erased the whole incident from his tiny brain.

Hassan can't quite picture Murry turning into the "Tazmanian Devil" during this office visit. I tell him that next year HE can take Murry to the vet all by himself!