Hajji Log: Part II

I know, I know, it's been a while since I have posted anything about Hajj. This time it's about one of MANY amusing stories to tell. I have always thought of myself as a tolerant person when it comes to hygiene (or lack of it). For goodness sake's, I'm a nurse! I've dressed the worst wounds and wiped the largest butts, but when it came to using the "Turkish Toilets" for the first time, it was all tippy-toes for me!

My introduction to these "ingenious" inventions were at Jeddah Airport in Saudi Arabia. We just flew in from Istanbul, Turkey...tired, disoriented, hungry, sleepy, and air-sick (that's me). The women were already wearing their abayas and hijabs (large robes and head covering) upon arriving. I needed to use the restroom and didn't want to go alone. Sarah, oh, dear dependable Sarah! She became my official bathroom buddy. I grabbed our disposable toilet wipes (as if that would be enough!) and we ventured arm-in-arm into the women's restroom.

The horror! Imagine a foreign bathroom used by literally thousands of women in a busy airport. Now, add in the interior design of San Francisco's Alcatraz and you have the women's bathroom at Jeddah Airport. Our top prioritiy was to find "regular" Western-style toilets to use, but found out that they were VERY popular...as an ashtray! It was like being in a horror movie as we warily peeked into each stall and then made the most grotesque faces you could imagine because of the conditions of the toilets! ALL of the "regular" toilets looked as if they hadn't been flushed AT ALL because they were brimming with waste, USED toilet paper, women's hygiene products, and garnished with cigarette butts. The floors of the stalls had a watery film of brown residue.

The "Turkish" toilets, on the otherhand, were far better in terms of functionality. For those not familiar with "Turkish" toilets, please study the attached photo. Self-explanatory, right? It may be an easy concept for men to comprehend, but for women, this is a logistical nightmare!

At least they were cleaner to use, but how? Sarah's only experience was as a cute 2 year-old being held over the hole by her mother. We weren't about to hold one another above the hole! We stared into a stall for a few seconds studying the logistics...where to stand, how to squat, how to aim, how to clean, and how to flush?!?! Those were the easy questions. The tougher questions were: Who goes first?!?! What about our clothes? How can we use the bathroom without getting our abayas and pants dirty?!?!

We had about 5 toilets to choose from and based our decision on the following criteria: overall smell, presence of any bodily fluids/solids in or around the porcelain bowl, amount of water/liquid on the floor, and location of water hose that is used to clean oneself (as if!).

Like a childhood dare, Sarah and I bounced the idea of who goes first. "At least you've seen them before!" I offered. She reluctantly accepted, swung her abaya over her shoulders, and began roll up her pants to her knees. Like stepping on hot coals, she tip-toed into the stall and locked the door. I won't share what we talked about, but you can probably guess that we were trying to figure things out together step-by-step...

Sarah truly captured the essence of this awkward, semi-public situation, when she echoed from the stall, "What am I doing?!?!?" At that point, I was hysterical, hunched over in laughter, and with tears in my eyes because of the scene we were making. I'm was glad that we were the only ones in the bathroom at the time!

Aside from questioning how to "flush" the toilet and nearly slipping into the porcelain bowl, Sarah was trooper through this whole ordeal! Now it was MY turn. I also reluctantly rolled up my pants and swung my abaya over my shoulders. Took a deep breath, stepped into the stall, and locked the door. I took my place on the footrest, did my business, reached under the door for Sarah to hand me my toilet wipes, and prepared myself to "flush" the toilet with me it it. Yuk.

With a sense of deep pride and accomplishment, we walked out of the bathroom together. Suddenly, Sarah stops and gasps, "Oh, MY God! I forgot to roll down my pants!" Embarrased, she runs back into the bathroom and I follow.

While she is bending over rolling her pants down, I look into the faded mirror and notice that she's not the only one who forgot something...

"Oh, MY God!" I hastily blurt out as I look myself over. Not only have I forgotten to roll down MY pants, but I walked out of the bathroom with my abaya still slung over my shoulders! How odd I must have looked! I was the Middle Eastern-version of a flasher!

Sarah looks up at me and we both start laughing hysterically! We can barely make out words because we are both hunched over in laughter and crying. We both had gone through such an ordeal with using the bathroom that this was the perfect ending to our bathroom adventure. What else could have happened?!?!?!

BTW- These are actual photos I took while at Jeddah Airport. Oh, the memories...