Part 3: "I thought I recognized you!"

Though it doesn't fall along the lines of "I thought I recognized you!", the higher meaning of this story is simple: Christina, keep you mouth closed.

I was at the infamous grocery store (from Part 1) once again with the shopping cart in tow. Weaving up and down the fruit section, my eye caught something unbelievable. Blueberries for 99 cents! And not just a pint of blueberries, an honest-to-goodness QUART of blueberries for 99 cents! (If you are avid berry shopper like myself, these suckers are usually expensive...about $1.99 for just one puny pint! And now a QUART!)

I looked around the store in disbelief...are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! Am I the only one in this store realizing this GREAT sale? Do I hoard the blueberries and risk drawing attention to myself? It was like someone had dropped a hundred dollar bill on a busy sidewalk and everyone is too busy to notice.

I see a grocery store employee who is strategically stacking oranges in those neat pyramids one aisle over. My mouth dry from excitement, I speak softly careful to not embarrass myself.

"Are those blueberries REALLY 99 cents?"

Grocery store employee looks up: "Did the "9" fall off again?"

"Huh?" I lean over the blueberries and stand on my tippy toes peering at the sign. I notice that ".99" is posted above the blueberries, but that a "9" has fallen off the wall and was laying flat on the ground.

"Damn, " I thought to myself. Good thing I asked! That explains it, although expensive, it was acutally $9.99 for blueberries

"I knew those were too good to be true!" I say out loud back at the clerk. I continue on with my shopping into the dairy aisle.

"Don't you need blueberries?" the clerk said behind me.

"No, not for $9.99!" I gawk at him. What am some berry-freak? $10 bucks for blueberries?

I finish my grocery shopping, checking off all the items I needed, and frequently adding extra items to the cart. (Don't we all do that?!)

I'm now in the check-out line (15 items or less, cash or credit) placing my items neatly on the conveyor belt. Yogurt, eggs, milk for tea, whole wheat bread, onions, and green peas among other random things (not including the blueberries). My items advance foward as a woman behind me begins stacking her groceries on the same conveyor belt.

It may seem that there are berry-freaks in this part of the world...crazies perhaps, because this woman as stacked SIX quarts of those blueberries on the belt forming a blue Great Wall of China! SIX quarts! Did she also fall for the 99 cent blueberry temptation? And what does she need with SIX freaking quarts of blueberries?!?

"That's $60 bucks worth of blueberries!" I thought to myself, "My God, is she a CrAzY?"

I imagined her arriving at home opening her door walking over and pushing through a cluttered home of old magazines, chairs covered with plastic, crocheted table cloths, and 50 hungry stray cats to feed. She opens her refridgerator to find room for the newly purchased blueberries. To make room, she moves the severed head of her murdered husband which is neatly stored in a Tupperware she has had since the 70's and places the blueberries next to him. "Perfect!" she says to herself, "Blueberry pie and preserves for the sheriff!" She must be psychotic!

ANYWAYS, back to reality...

I ponder in my attached head as the cashier rings up my groceries, "Does she really think they are 99 cents? Should I save this woman the embarrassment of purchasing $60 bucks worth of blueberries?" The old Christina would have said "YES" in a heartbeat, but something inside of me felt like I should keep my mouth shut. I thought about my past history of jumping to conclusions too quickly and thought, "WWHD**?" Best to keep it to myself.

I purposely sign the reciept slower than usual so I can eve's drop on the woman's purchase. She rang up the blueberry fortress first.

"99 cents" displayed on the screen.

"Wha tha?!?!?!" my eyes screamed. Was this some sick joke? I'm sure glad that I kept my mouth shut! I felt wiser in my judgement of keeping my mouth shut, but I'm sure I had a look of disbelief written all over my face. Then, I felt a pang of embarrassment...

I flashed back to my conversation with the clerk stacking those oranges. He was joking around with me! I knew he sounded sarcastic, but I thought he was just frustrated that the "9" kept falling off the wall. Damn, him! I could have been one of the first to purchase those blueberries!

I hastely push my cart out to the car and load up the groceries in the trunk.

Damn him! I kept thinking to myself. I wanted those blueberries! Instead of driving off mad, I walk back into the store and straight to the blueberries (careful to not run into that orange-pyramid maker). I grab a quart of ripe blueberries and a package of butter.

"I'm makin' somethin'!" I mumble. Without protest, I puchase my blueberries for 99 cents.

I feel confused and full of mixed emotions...I should feel proud because I saved face when I kept my mouth shut in the checkout line. But then I feel embarrassed because I fell for the orange-pyramid man's joke. I thought it was really $9.99 and it turned out to be 99 cents, but had to come back into the grocery store a second time because I kept my mouth shut. If I had embarrassed myself, sacrificed my dignity, listened to the true Tanookie inside, I could have saved myself the second trip.

Was this a win-win situation? A 3-3 tie or a net zero situation because I felt like I had not gained anything at all! Only a perplexing quart of blueberries in which I had no idea what to make.

Sheesh.

**"WWHD" means "What Would Hassan Do?"